Updates

Ok so I've left ya'all hanging for sometime now about a few important details so here's a quick recap of the Life of Marcie. (some of this might be a repeat - forgive me)

I fixed my car. Just swallowed my pride and stopped thinking I needed MORE then what I had. It was rough. I wanted that other car pretty bad, but I didn't need it and God provided my need by giving me the money to fix my car. That's where I usually screw up is thinking that because God met my need that I need to take it to the next level....yeah....not a good choice in most cases. As hard as it was to sink SO much money into my car, in the end it was the smarter choice. Now I daydream about My Mini Cooper I'll be getting in the future because I didn't settle and get something else.
But I realized thru that whole situation that I have some amazing people in my life. I had put on my Facebook status update for my FB friends to cough up some dough and incredibly I had multiple people offering me money to help us out. I'm trying not to cry while writing this.... It just goes to show that there are not only amazing people out there, but God will NEVER EVER forsake us. I had people from High School offering me help and people who don't even know me...it just blew me away. God is so so good. *wipes tears*

Oh the mortgage stuff...
Ok I've really had to be careful with this stuff. I've had a rough couple of weeks with BoA over this issue and I haven't been happy with my reaction. I mean I FREAKED out a few times. Like think stomping of feet, shaking, cussing like a sailor and tears. Not pretty. And thankfully I didn't do any of that on the phone with them because that would have gotten our application to the BOTTOM of the pile. BoA don't play. I don't know where to even start or end this story because its still not done. they lost more papers, required more paperwork and the list goes on. We are still in the review process which has truly only been going on for about a month now because they lost paperwork 3x now. We faxed them additional paperwork last week and if they are in true form like the last 3x has shown, they'll lose them again and we'll start this process all over again. Its so hard and frustrating because I feel like its So out of control. Which means, Its out of Marcie's Hands and she can't control it and it drives her NUTS. Lets just call it what it is.
When I do call them I have to pray and take a moment to collect myself and then I get all nervous. Its horrible. This whole thing is horrible.
The other night I was driving myself crazy and not giving it to God like I should have been so I was mentally categorizing what we would need to sell if we moved, how we would do it, what I would charge, who I would list the house with when it went up for sale....and on and on and on. Oh you think my blog is never ending? You should hear my REAL thoughts. Eventually God calmed me down and so did that handy sleeping pill....yes I resorted to that once it was after 12am and I had to work the next morning. Not addicted people -- don't call anyone one me. Just in case of emergency type thing.
But thats what I've had to resort to sometimes because I get myself so worked up over Tomorrow. And we all know what the bible says about worrying about tomorrow....yeah .... gotta repeat that scripture A LOT sometimes!
I wish I could say I practiced what I preach on here better, but I don't. Which is why I'm on here tonight late because we have to call BoA tomorrow about the Faxed paperwork. *sigh*

Funny thing is I'm all freaked out about this whole mortgage thing all while knowing it'll work out because I know God won't make us homeless. Even if we do lose this house he'll have somewhere else for us. I know it without doubt so part of me is indifferent. I've already decided if this whole thing falls thru and doesn't work out we'll have to sell, be upside down and just deal with it IF it comes. What else is there to say about it? right now I'm just telling myself one day at a time and whatever happens happens. I know some of you are saying, Umm hello? shouldn't you be speaking it in that you'll keep your home? Well no. maybe this isn't what God wants for us. Kind of like the car thing. We over extended ourselves to a large home that we could afford at the time, but if we had just gone with a smaller home we would have been able to do much more. We still would have been in this same situation, but not so extreme. But no sense in looking backwards either. Just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on praying. Its all I got right now.

James will have been out of work for a year at the end of June. There doesn't appear to be relief yet. I don't know what God has in store and if I do let myself think about it I start to get upset and then I wonder if God's doing this for me not James. I have not prayed and asked him why yet because honestly I'm scared to know. Sometimes knowing the truth hurts more then not knowing. Clearly we lacked wisdom or something, but maybe its just because God wants us to move into a totally new chapter in our lives and he's stripping us to the core of ourselves thru this. I know God uses these extreme situations like this not only because we can handle it, but because he knows we'll make it thru it to the end. When we come out of this, it could mean so much and we will be in a new place. We already are in a new place with God, but can you imagine where we'll be when we do get thru this? And honestly a job loss is nothing. If this is what the Devil's got its a pretty weak shot.
Honestly people I don't think the construction industry is going to get better. That whole Hope and Change crap Obama promised us truly came thru for us. There is hope - IN GOD - and change because of the economy, but I can't blame Obama either. We can only look to HIM and ask why.

I know God wants us to keep on Giving. As hard as that is sometimes, its what God has kept telling me since James lost his job. We were talking about that with our Pastor today -- that we gave and God totally blew us away with all he provided because we agreed to give. Tonight we were talking with Noah about kids and their lunches at school. He said sometimes his friends have no lunch or hardly any lunch. I told him to give them his lunch tickets if it came to that because no one should ever have to be hungry or not get enough to eat. Everyone deserves a meal. He grumbled and groaned about it because I think it embarrassed him to think of doing that, but i hope he does it. Silent donations touch people forever.... Think about what Jesus said, "I was hungry and you fed me..." Please God let Noah carry that spirit of giving no matter how embarrassing it might feel like at first. Let him catch that spirit of how good it feels to bless someone.

Ok so that's a lot of rambling.
Thinking I need to go pray now. I've stirred up a lot of feelings just from this post and my last post (see below).

Blessings People!