FUNNY KIDS WILL MAKE ANYBODY LAUGH
6 reasons not to mess with children.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow ahuman because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she askedwhat the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat ourbrothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)answered, "Thou shall not kill."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's adoctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on myhead, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red inthe face."
"Yes," the class said
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinaryposition the blood doesn't run into my feet? "
A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't empty."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table wasa large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching theapples.
4 comments:
OMG...My favorite was the picture one when they said, "there's the teacher, she's dead!"
Funny
I wanted to let you know that RiteAid has the energy effecient light bulbs on sale until May 6th ~ 6 for $1.00 it is with a rebate from PSE, and they take the rebate right at the register... it is the kind that is 850 lumens, so anywhere you would use a 60watt bulb you would use one of these, and they are supposed to last for 5 years!
Wow I'm so going to RiteAid today! Thanks Emily!!! What a deal!! I got light bulbs w/ a PSE instant rebate once for 18 cents a piece! gotta love that everyone is going all "green" about the earth now!!
Side Note: it was Walgreens who was having the sale on light bulbs. If the future when they have this sale again watch for it because it rocks!
I got this time around 24 lightbulbs for $4.22, only paid the tax!!
Post a Comment