Can't Sleep

Ok so here it is 1:56am on Friday morning. Early Friday morning. I cannot sleep. Those sleeping pills from my trip are calling out to me right about now.

Its been a rough week.
God is letting see more sides to myself that frankly I'd rather not see right now. He's funny like that.

Although I'm beginning to think that the Hoodia Supplement I've been taking is affecting my sleep. I know Jess, I'm cheating by taking Hoodia (its an appitite suppresant for those who are like, Hoodie-What??) but I'm starting to reach desperate here and I made a rash decision at Costco over the weekend. All those weight loss pills in HUGE containers were just screaming at me to buy them. I was weak, more then likely hungry because that Hot Dog from the food court was sounding REALLY good at the time.
However its been a week of me taking it & my verdict is in on Hoodia---It DOES NOT work. Big surprise I know.
ONce you get past all the headaches, maybe it does work. But for me, the biggest side effect was that I was STARVING after it wore off. Probably not the best side effect of something that is supposed to help you LOSE weight. Let me binge because I'm dying of hunger.
So back to the store its going to go.
This is what I get for buying something & thinking it was going to work and make this weight loss thing easier.

BUT I saved you all some $$ by being your guinea pig. I'm in no hurry to try more weight loss type pills, although that new Alli Pill is interesting....but I wouldn't buy it. It basically punishes you for eating fatty foods by helping your body GO (catch my drift here??) after you eat all that fatty food.
Isn't that just another form of a laxative? Whatever.

Sorry I'm way too sarcastic when I'm tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep I guess. I'm hungry. That stupid Hoodia has worn off again.....hunger with a vengence...I could take another pill to curb my hunger, but then wake up with a massive, pounding headache? No thanks.

All you smarty pant health/fitness/workout/feel the burn-crazy do it the hard way weight loss people can keep your comments to your self about weight loss suppliments. I dont' wanna hear it, I know what you'll say. "Losing weight cannot happen in the form of a pill." Got it. I knew it when I bought it. But that is why you buy from Costco because they'll take pretty much anything back. Thank you Jesus for return policy's. They are like Plan-B for me.

Enough about Hoodia.

I had a run in with Neighbor lady the other day. Well not face to face. But lets just say my words screwed things up--again. I know I know...keep my mouth shut, learn from your mistakes...sigh...anyway you are all DYING To hear another neighbor lady story I know...

So James tells me the other night when I'm at work that my words to Noah were repeated to Neighbor lady who promptly called James ( from her cordless phone that hangs around her neck) to tell him that what I said, "Makes me look bad."
Noah told her that he can only play at their house because "My mom says you guys fight all the time and she doesn't want to hear it."
Ok that is true. I said that. I really did. Probably in a fit of anger yelling at the kids to knock it off for the zillionth time!!!!!! Really probably not the best thing. Those kids now tip toe around me all the time and hide from me when they see me coming. Its sort of funny. But at the same time sad because my being snot has scared and scarred these kids for life now.
Needless to say I looked like a you know what--again and now I have to clean up my mess.
For the life of me I cannot remember when I said that.
It was probably months ago, but parents BEWARE just because your kid is beyond the 2's doesn't mean he/she won't repeat what you say. They KEEP DOING IT!!!

The whole, "makes me look bad" comment could be translated in more then one way. If she is being nice it could be translated into a nice way. Hmmm...I don't know though....tough call. To me its a neutral comment, just enough to make me go WHAT!?!? and then make me go What?
Either way I let James have it this time.
"Hello, why can't you at least stick up for me once & stop trying to please everyone and make them like you??!!!"
Yep, those words I couldn't take back either.
You know how when you say something and the words come out and you are like, "Nooooooo" in slow motion? Trying to cram those words back into your mouth. It doesn't work BTW.
I just couldn't win that way. Couldn't win because I was wrong.
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
So I wrote an email. I know, how detached is that? To me that is neutral ground. And to make things worse (you guys are going to crack up about this) I used an annoyomous email address my ISP provides!
I know how terrible am I? But I didn't want her to have my "real" email address so she wouldn't send me stupid forwards about being a better parent or something. SERIOUSLY! I'm a SICK person! But I thought it thru and said, "hey, let's be careful and not use your real account." I thought it thru that much.
Honestly, I need help. But like I said in a previous post, I can't be around her because he drives me to sin! I'm a bad person around her and why make things worse? Although I'm thinking Noah must have it in for me! Sneaky kid...its a conspiracy I think...mutiny is AFOOT!!!!!!!
Man I need to either eat or sleep.

And that has been my life as of this week.
Ok I know I've posted a post nearly everyday this week, but like I said it helps me avoid food. And besides you all know you read my blog everytime you go online. I know I do...because I'm avoiding food so blogs feed my soul.
That sounds nice doesn't it?!

I found this on someone's blog. Its a Momma thing...TopMomma.com is to get more traffic to my blog. Hoping to find other mom's or just people in general who might want to read my Neverending Thoughts on Things! We'll see! You can click on it too, you know so I can get a lot of clicks!