To My Son's Teacher...

Dear Teacher:

I know having my son in your class is hard. He talks too much, distracts the other children, talks out of turn & all in all is probably a thorn in your side.
Do you know what its like to have the child who the teacher sees & sighs?
Do you know how it makes me grieve when my son is so torn after each school day?
What its like to have the child the other kids are told to “ignore” because he is once again distrupting class?
Having the child with the strongest will out of an entire class is difficult to swallow at times.
Do you think I’m one of those terrible parents who lets their child be raised be TV?
Or that parent who lets their child run wild thru the neighborhood?
What do you think of me?
What do you really think of my son?
My son you ignore when he is loud. My son you rush thru show & tell because he is taking too long.
My child that you probably groan inwardly when he comes in each morning.

Do you know what that is like?
Did you have a “problem child” at one time in your life?
Or were all your children well behaved & groomed?

My son might not dress the neatest or have hair that lays flat, but he wants to learn & he looks to your for that education.

We spend so much time doting on the teacher.
What about the children who you might not like as much as the well behaved ones? Do you forget those ones because you hope that by ignoring them, they’ll change?

Should I crush my son’s spirit too?
I’m not the expert of running a classroom, but I’d like to think I’m an expert on my son.
Should I silence his spirit when it wants to lead?
Should I tell him he isn’t gifted or smart when he expresses his frustration on work?
Should I rebuke his efforts to reach out when he needs help?Is that what you would want done to you?
Everyone expresses their needs differently then others.
My son’s needs are expressed in noise & chatter. But inwardly he is crying out for you–his Teacher.
He wants to lead & probably needs a harness at times.He wants friends & tries to overwhelm them with his friendly, constant play. But his friends are told to ignore him when he turns to talk.
Will his friends one day ignore him completely because that is how they are trained by you—The Teacher.
You are like a lighthouse in their educational storm, a beacon and a place of rest when they make it too shore. While others will easily cruise onto shore following the waves to shore, others will wrestle with the fear of the unknown & unseen. The waves will be mighty & lash against them and although they want to cry out for help they are silenced.

Is behavior all bad?
Or is behavior just a reaction to a situation?
Sometimes the loudest one is the one the least heard because we are so used to wanting silence & order. The loud ones seek attention in different ways that are probably considered rude & inconsiderate.
But is it really?

Remember he struggled thru first grade last year, that is why he is once again going thru the first grade again. He cried many times at home because he felt ignored & shushed. He wanted help & just needed a little extra hand, but no one wanted to help him..they wanted him to be quiet & just sit down.

Your tone is sharp & your tongue is quick. Is that from years of teaching & just wanting things to go your way? Can my son just be what he is, a child? He has many years to be still & quiet. He’ll spend the majority of his adult years following the order of the world. But he has few years to be a child. He only has about 6 years until he is a teenager & he probably won’t speak hardly at all.For now, could we just allow him to be him?

Yes, he’ll speak out of turn & yes, he’ll interrupt you when you are speaking. No it isn’t right for him to do that & I don’t want to diminish your authority, but I’m afraid you’ll crush that spirit of his & he’ll just turn into a submissive clone. We can’t make adults out of 7 year olds. It just isn’t possible. They won’t always listen & often they won’t care.Is that so wrong?Sometimes I dont’ want to listen to my boss either, but I do. Eventually sometime in my life I figured out too that even though I don’t agree with those above me, I still work hard & obey. One day my son will come to understand that too.

Am I trying to file my son’s behavior under “kids will be kids?”
Nope.
I don’t agree with that notion.
I’ve heard it many times.

I think what I’m really trying to say is that my son wants your attention because he might not understand.My son’s behavior isn’t a reflection of who he is.He really is a sweet boy with a loving spirit who wants to please everyone. He is my only child. He is my everything too.And yes, I’ll fight to protect him from the world like some crazy protective mother but that is only because I care.
At least I’m involved in my son’s life instead of just telling him to suck it up & deal with it.Maybe I’m being a little over the top & too involved.But I don’t want to look back on my son’s life one day & wish I had done more to help him.
YOu’ll spend more time with my son then I will this next year. There are few hours in the day & knowing you sow into him more then anyone else in his life is like me giving you my child.

Take care of my son.
He is all I have in the kid department.
Each hurt he hurts, hurts me all the more. I struggle as a mother to do what is right everyday & it is no easy task.
So when my son talks out of turn & interrupts your class, please know he just wants a part of you like he does to me. He wants to please you, but doesn’t know how. Please don’t ignore him because it’ll crush his spirit. He wants so much to be a part of something. As a mother, I don’t know what that is yet & I haven’t quite figured out how to channel his spirit yet. But I do know for someone like him, ignoring him only frustrates him until he about to explode.

Jesus said we needed to love our neighbors like we love ourselves & I’d like to think you see your students individually as that–your neighbors.

YOu’ll never see this letter though. Because I’m not going to give it to you. Instead I’m going to pray for you & my son more & more. Its the least I can do for my sanity & my frustration right now. Writing is like a cleansing of my spirit, it helps to be frustrated on paper then in person.
I do hope that you’ll grow to love my son one day. He has so much to give. I know you are busy & have many students. Just love them where they are at, just like Jesus does. Let them come as they are–children.

MKD