Dating the Church

I've been avoiding writing about this for quite some time now. I tend to get so far ahead of my thinking that I don't write what I really mean and just sort of "word vomit" all over this blog in most posts.

So when we left PFC we started going to lets call it church #2. Church #2 is a start up church (aka: in a school) and started just over a year ago. We showed up there in Feb. of 2009 and they had started in October 2008 so it was fairly new.
At first I thought OH this church is great! The pastor has a lt of hte same thinking about churches spending too much money on their buildings or their own appearances then the community or the world at large.
So we started going there exclusively. (It sounds like I was dating someone!)

After awhile though things sort of got sour and I don't even quite know how to explain what I mean by "went sour." It has a lot to do with the whole Basics of what it means to be Saved....and then it sort of stemmed from there.

you know how when you are dating someone and its all new and fresh and eerything seems great, but after awhile you start to see things you didn't see before because it was new and you wanted to believe that it was going to work out and THIS was the relationship?? Well, thats how it was and I sort of feel bad about it now. I should have been able to "see" some of this stuff from the get-go, but I wanted SO much to make it fit into what I thought the church WAS, but wasn't.
It just feels like wet-wood there. Like as though the Pastor is having to try so hard to get thru to people and it just sort of fizzles out.

We gave it a good run. But finally turned to one another and said, "this isn't working." So we have started out church shopping again.

I hate being a church hopper like this. I want So bad to put down roots somewhere. Which is why I wanted to make church #2 work! With PFC I wanted to hide out in its masses when we first started going there. Then eventually I think God didn't want me hiding out anymore and made me get uncomfortable with certain things which in turn made me want out. I of course took it to the wrong level and turned bitter and frustrated with PFC. All the while I'm sure God was going, "Just get out and stop hiding." I'm sure he shook his head when I took THAT the wrong way. But again, I was trying to make the church work to what I thought it should be....Hi. You can't do that.

We didn't tell the Pastor of church #2 we have left or were thinking of leaving. I feel like a huge jerk though. He's texted us once but we ignored it. It doesn't seem appropriate to send a text about leaving a church. He'll have to come to us when he's ready. We're just letting it rest for now.

Then we found church #3. Church #3 is also a start up church in a school. So far its been great, but I don't feel at home there. Its so small....its only 6-10 people each week and that includes the pastor, the worship team, pastors wife, the guy running the sound board...you get where I'm going with this. And I have some questions about the church I don't understand. Like how they've been a church plant for 10 years yet only have that many people?? Maybe there are details I don't understand or don't yet know, but something just doesn't feel right about that. And I honestly need companionship....am I making excuses?
Probably.
I know there is No perfect church.
The minute I step foot in it, it won't be perfect thats for sure! ;)

So our quest to find the church that feels more at home is still on. I plan on trying out one church this weekend without James and noah. They are going to go to church #3 and see if they can get some questions answered about stuff.
But I feel like shopping more. I might even use THIS if it comes in handy.
Sort of like dating.

I'm dating the church.
And I intend to try out more then one to see if I can find one that "fits." It won't be perfect. It won't have everything I want. I just need to find one that lines up with what the bible says and has people open to God.
Thats about it.

And so much to ask all at once.