More Funnies!

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

> > #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

> > #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

> > # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

> > #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

> > #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

> > #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

> > #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

> > #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

> > #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

> > #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

> > #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

> > #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

> > #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

> > #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

> > #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

> > AND THE WINNER IS....

> > #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."